Amateur Translation: Saihate no Ima – Sayaka & Shinobu at the Factory (Commentary Version)

This is the commentary edition. You can see the edited version here. This record is for future reference, because, as with the letters of Flaubert or the notebooks of Henry James, I really like reading the process as well, sometimes even more so than the stuff the writers actually wrote. Returning to these thoughts helps me to reconsider my aesthetics or translation habits or whatever. Maybe it’ll help you to. Anyway, this is the record.

If you feel that there are any unjustified flaws in the translation (as in, the modification does not at all help the translation, causes a divergence in meaning, or loses some important connotation… or, is just plain wrong and sucks), kindly flag it up to me with comments. I’m doing this for self-practice and critique.

(1) 古びた、工場跡などが立ち並んでいる。活動していたのは、昭和の頃だろうか。今では煙をあげているものはない。

Translation

The ruins of old factories were standing in line. The last time they had been active was the Showa Era. Now, smoke no longer emerged.

(2) 再利用されることなく忘れ去られた、町外れ。だが鬱然とした感じはなく、乾いた味わいが漂う。ここには人はいない。

Translation

They had been forgotten at the outskirts. Never to be reused. Yet, there was no gloomy feeling. A parched flavor drifed about. There was nobody there.

(3) 一人で訪れれば、自らの存在さえ忘れてしまいかねない。

Translation

A single visit from a single person, would have at least ensured these existences from drifting to complete oblivion.

Correction

If a person had visited here, there was a chance that even their own existence would have been forgotten.

Commentary

The ‘complete oblivion’ may be a bit gaudy, given that the original was just ‘forget completely’. I may change it during the edit.

Apparently I screwed this one up. Thanks a bunch for some anons on 4chan for spotting it for me (ah, the things you find when you’re bored enough to google yourself). But, guys… couldn’t you have just commented here instead? I did make the statement that this is an amateur translation after all.

(4) 人は自身を直接見ることはできないからだ。無人が浸透した背景は、自己性を曖昧に喪失させる。

Translation

These were bodies that were never directly seen. The unpeopled backdrop soaked into their selfhood, and scattered it to a vague loss.

(5) 人が人でなくなる道を越えた先、聖域は置かれている。

Translation

But some people had recently passed through these unpeopled roads, and they established a sanctuary.

Commentary

人が人でなくなる道 is a more elegant phrase, as with anything that allows for easy reverberation. A comparison is the translation of the Tao Te Ching where “道可道,非常道” becomes extended to the burdensome“The Dao that can be trodden is not the enduring and unchanging Dao”. Maybe a better variation would be “And then people came to unpeopled roads…”

(6) 過去を忘れ去るように、通り過ぎていく。もう稼働することはない、忘却の果てにある錆色の建物群を、忍たちは訪う。

Translation

Passing through a forgotten past. A long defunct building. Rusted from a state of oblivion. Shinobu and company paid a visit.

Commentary

Tanaka splits his clauses in such a way that it allows for easy distinction into small sentences as shown above. Since the Japanese comma is laxer than the English one (although, honestly, how I use the English comma myself is as lax as how the Japanese use it), and, if you want to get that Hemingway feel, then full-stops are appropriate.

(7) ひときわ大きな工場だった。流れた歳月もひときわ長いのか、空気に混じる金属臭は薄い。

Translation

It was quite spacious. The flowing years had been considerably long, and this oldness blended with the light smell of metal.

(8) 工業機器はほとんど残されていない。撤去されたか、売り払われたか。

Translation

The industry machinery had been more or less cleared out. Probably demolished, or sold away.

(9) 名実ともに空洞化した建物には、しかし奇妙さ加減が見て取れる。

Translation

It was a completely useless, nameless, building, and yet, you could grasp a strange air to it.

(10) 違和感の正体は、本棚・ソファ・食器棚・不統一な椅子たち。

Translation

An unnatural character. A bookshelf, a sofa, a cupboard, and various scattered chairs.

Commentary

I also realize there are moments when he likes to pull out simple lists, but, a lot of writers do that anyway.

(11) 乾燥した廃墟に、ぎこちなく生活空間が混入されているせいだ。

Translation

In the dry ruins, someone had tried to crudely stuff a living room in.

(12) 互いに話し合い、触れ、静寂さえもわかちあう。昔は秘密基地と呼ばれていた場所。今は……さすがにそう呼ばれることはなくなった。

Translation

The intimacy of mutual discussion. Even sharing the silence. Such was the nature of this place, an old ‘Secret Base’. But, now, as expected, no one called it that anymore.

(13) 最大数7の共有空間。考えることなく、自らでいられる場所。一人で来ることもある。

Translation

The space was limited to its seven owners. It was, without a doubt, a place for one’s self. And sometimes, you just came alone.

(14) 皆といることもある。あずさとともいることは、特に多かった。

Translation

And sometimes, everyone was there. Especially Azusa, who came a lot.

(15) 今日のように、沙也加と二人きりでいる時だけは、少しばかり忍も緊張してしまう。

Translation

In the same way, he was only with Sayaka today. Shinobu felt slightly nervous.

(16) 鞄をガラクタの上に投げ出す。ソファを占拠して、さっそく買ってきた本を開く。

Translation

Bags were thrown on the pile of junk lying around. He occupied the sofa, and immediately opened his new book.

(17) 「…」

(18) しばし物語の世界に引き込まれる。どれだけ時間が経過したろうか。

Translation

He was, for a time, drawn into the story’s world, without tracking how long had passed.

(19) 気がつけば、温度を持った芳醇さが間近から漂ってきている。

Translation

There was a noticeably mellow rise in temperature that drifted from nearby.

(20) 数十分ぶりにページから目をはがすと、隣に沙也加が立っていた。

Translation

After several pages, he pulled his eyes away, to Sayaka, who was standing next to him.

(21) 工場に来てすぐ、姿を消していたのだが……どうやら飲み物を作っていたらしい。

Translation

When they came in, she had disappeared… probably to prepare some drink.

Commentary

A simple example of loss includes cutting the idea of姿, because it just sounds strange to say her ‘form’ disappeared in English.

(22) 「どうぞ」

Translation

Here you go

(23) 珈琲が湯気を立てていた。工場で火を使うためには、主にキャンプ用の携帯コンロを用いる。

Translation

The vapor of coffee rose up. She had made use of the portable camping cooker, which they kept in the factory.

(24) 時間をかけてドリップで淹れてくれたに違いなかった。

Translation

There was no mistaking the fact, though, that she had spent time herself, to brew coffee.

(25) 沙也加はこうして家事に近いことをはじめると、丁寧ではあるがやたら時間をかける。

Translation

For Sayaka to begin performing such house-work so close, was an act of civility that occurred at random.

(26) 「(……年寄りくさい、なんて思っても言えないけど)」

Translation

(It stinks of political marketing… but I’m not saying that out loud)

Commentary

Sigh… I’ve tried thinking of something that can convey年寄りくさい (6 syllables) better, which somehow includes the idea of stench, and crafty senior statesmen putting on a civil face, but nothing really sounds as nice. Maybe a historical pop-culture reference has all the connotation, like “stinks like Nixon’s ass. I should never say that out loud”, but then it goes into a completely divergent meaning, and Watergate is a completely different thing from PR. Maybe Reagan…? Then again I am completely not American, so so much for those references.

(27) 彼女はこう見えて本来、豪快な気質だ。細かな作業は得意ではないというが、嫌いというわけでもないらしい。

Translation

She had, looking at her originally, quite a boisterous disposition. Fine-tuned work, you could say, was never her forte, but you could also say she didn’t hate it either.

Commentary

This part is quite shaky. I had a bit of trouble understanding the thing as a whole, but I stitched it together as the propositions “She was originally lively” so “She wasn’t an OCD type when doing things” but “She also didn’t hate taking her time to pore over a single work”

(28) 人生で焦る必要を感じていないのか、全てにおいて取り組み方が懇切丁寧。

Translation

She never felt it was important to rush. The method she strived for, always, was a kind-hearted thoroughness.

Commentary

Maybe boisterous is a bit too strong word for the line before, given that they characterize her this way.

(29) 一緒にいると、時間の経過が遅くなったように、忍には感じられる。

Translation

And together, as the time passed through slowly, Shinobu could feel it.

(30) まるで老後のように―――

Translation

Like an old couple…

Commentary

Not the exact translation (which, in the dictionary, just states ‘Old Age’), but I feel states the feeling better, and when I googled image searched the word, that was all the pictures I got.

(31) 「(絶対言えない)」

Translation

Definitely, never gonna say it.

(32) カップを口につけた。

Translation

He took another sip from the cup.

(33) 「…ん、温かい」

Translation

…it’s quite warm.

(34) カップが。いったん湯でぬくぬてあるようだ。本当に取り組み方が細かい。

Translation

The cup was. It was probably heated through only once. Undeniably, that sensitive method at work again.

Commentary

I think the latter part is wrong. I wrote “at work again” because取り組み方 was the same as above.

(35) 「おかわりが必要なら、五分前に言って」

Translation

If you need seconds, it’ll take five minutes.

(36) 「うん」

Translation

Okay.

(37) 実際はその何倍かはかかるんだろうな、と呟く。

Translation

In reality, whatever times after that, there was grumbling.

Commentary

I’m not exactly sure about the definition of かかる in this instance, but I pieced together a general idea from呟く. So, may be incorrect.

(38) 「歴史の本?」

Translation

Is that a history book?

(39) 「うん。ミステリー」

Translation

Yep. Mystery.

(40) 本を手前に傾けて、背表紙を見せる。

Translation

He tilted the book upwards, to show her the spine.

(41) 「面白そうね」

Translation

That’s quite interesting, isn’t it?

(42) 「あとで読むといいよ、本棚の蔵書にするつもりなんで」

Translation

I’ll let you read it afterwards, if you want. I’ll leave it on the bookshelf.

(43) 「そうさせてもらおうかしら」

Translation

Then I’ll gladly accept.

(44) と、隣に腰を下ろす。張りを失った布地を通して、彼女の体重を確かなものとして感じた。

Translation

And, she sat beside Shinobu. The springy fabric softened in, throughout. Her body weight permeated through.

Commentary

This is a bit strange because張りを失った布地 seems to say that the sofa loses tension or stretch, which, to me, doesn’t seem like what happens when someone sits down. So, to adapt, I changed the image more fitting my own idea.

(45) 単純なようだが、それだけで心は華やぐ。自分のカップを無音で口に運ぶ様を、横滑りした目で観察する。

Translation

It was a simple act. His heart softened, there, lighter. While appearing to drink silently, he glanced sideways.

(46) 武家の娘が持つような直線的な凛々しさの上に、彫像めいた横顔が置かれている。

Translation

The dignity of a samurai’s daughter. The straightened poise. Her profile was like a sculpture stood still.

(47) 美貌というほどの圧力はない。誇り高そうに吊られた目尻だが、斜め下に坂滑りの視線は、決して人を刺す風ではない。

Translation

There was no stress from her beauty, though. Her proud suspension in the corner of his eye (a downwards, slanted, sloping glide across), had no sting to its air.

Commentary

This mixture is quite complex, especially斜め下に坂滑りの視線which repeats the notion of sloping twice (one as noun, the second as adjective), gliding once (attached to the line of sight), and a downwards direction. I had to put it in parenthesis (ah, what a great invention. ee cummings would be so proud) because I couldn’t think of a nice way to fit it in.

Also a bit of trouble with決して人 because I read it first as ‘deciding-person’, but found out using a dictionary that it can also refer to Never or By No Means. Yet that still felt weird, but I figured that him saying that Sayaka had no aggressiveness to her beauty was probably what it was pointing at.

(48) 儚さの強い容色だ。見ていると、いつか彼女が消えてしまうのではないかという不安に魅入られる。

Translation

It was a fleeting but strong complexion. Looking at her, you could always question whether she about to disappear completely. But that uneasy wispiness was somehow entrancing.

Commentary

The latter part was quite complicated, so I had to break it into two parts. いつか彼女が消えてしまうのではないかという roughly and direct seems like “Always she had a Would-She-Dissapear-Completely question that you could say”, whereas the second part不安に魅入られる seems to state the very interesting notion of a captivation that is derived from ‘anxiousness’. Another definition they put is suspenseful, but since I know Chinese, I know the most direct translation is ‘Un-Ease’. So I split apart both parts, and used ‘wispiness’ as a mediator from one sentence to the next, and then shifted over ‘uneasy’ to modify it to make the idea stick better.

(49) 生命力の強さが備わっていないのだ。這いずってでも生存するという気概。

Translation

Yet, she possessed no vigor of life. But, rather, a crawling kind of mettle for existence.

Commentary

At this point I have the suspicion I may have mistranslated somewhere. Because the last few lines transitioned the idea from Strength and Dignity to Transient Fragility to Vulgar Struggle, which either expresses the conflicting natures of her appearance as a Politician’s daughter, or its just I plain made a mistake.

Then again, the above was a reference to posture. Possessing no vigor of life doesn’t conflict with having a strong posture, like solemnity for example, which is a state of graveness but stability.

(50) 生き汚さ。生命あるいは目的への執着。そういったものが抜けている。

Translation

Greed for life. An existential directive of brute fixation. This was the sort of thing that manifested.

(51) 結果、沙也加の存在感は器の出来に比して、差し引かれている。

Translation

In the end, this pragmatism ate away at her fullness of self.

Commentary

This line presses two abstractions against one another. The first being存在感, which has connotations to Presence, Existence, or Being, and the second being器の出来 which seems to be Quality of Ability, although, taking the Kanji purely, can be read as “Results of the Tool”. Both notions are compared here (比して), and差し引かれて expresses that the balance is being shifted from one notion to the other. Because出来 is subject to the particle に, the notion here seems to be something like exchanging Being for Ability.

Quite hard things to grasp, and even harder to convey. The above is the result of my interpretation.

(52) 学校でも彼女に話しかける者はほとんどいない。時折、交際を申し出てくる酔狂な人間もいた。

Translation

In school, no one really talked to her. Sometimes, people would label her an eccentric or whimsical character.

(53) 酔狂というのは、ほとんど沙也加との個人的深交を結ばず、一方的に好意を伝えてくるものばかりだからだ。

Translation

Speaking for her whimsicality, she was self-centeredly separate from even her closest friends, performing unilateral acts of good will only towards them.

Commentary

I like how this description follows up to what happens at the end of the scene.

(54) 彼女が、そのような軽佻さに応じることは有り得ない。

Translation

With her, a flippant response was impossible.

(55) ゆえに結果は明々白々なものである。酔狂と言えた。傾けたカップから、沙也加が白湯を含む。

Translation

The result was quite clear as day. They called her eccentric. Tilting the cup to her lips, Sayaka drank.

(56) 彼女は時折、それを飲むのである。口内から食道に潜る、熱せられた液体を思う。

Translation

When she took intermittent sips like that, he thought about the hot fluid passing into her gullet.

(57) 「(……いかんいかん)」

Translation

This is bad…

(58) 艶めいた喉の波打ちを契機に、果てのない観察行為から忍は立ち返った。

Translation

The undulation of her alluring throat gave him a chance. Without completing his observation, Shinobu returned his gaze to his cup.

(59) 彼女同様、コーヒーを啜った。揃って、ほぅ、と息をつく。同じタイミングだった。

Translation

Same as her, he took a sip. Then, together, they took the same breath. Perfect timing.

(60) 忍が横を見やる。すでに彼女の瞳が待ち伏せするかのように置かれていた。

Translation

Shinobu glanced to the side. It was too late. Her eyes were placed in an ambush.

(61) 目が合う。忍は微笑する。沙也加も微笑する。

Translation

Their gaze met. Shinobu smiled. Sayaka smiled.

(62) そこに含羞の戸惑いはない。やわらかな空気が、二人を浸す。幼い少年少女が結ぶ、甘やかな交情を思わせた。

Translation

There was no trace of embarrassed confusion. They were soaked in the tender air. Sweet affection shared between young boys and girls.

(63) 家にいてもやることはない。余暇はたいてい、工場で過ごす。それは忍に限ったことではない。

Translation

Whatever they did at home wasn’t here. An ordinary leisure was spent at the factory. To Shinobu, there was nothing better than that.

Commentary

A bit of confusion because I didn’t know whether it was talking about も thenやる or もやる. The first seems to be more like what can be done at home, and the second means “to become misty or hazy”. This, though, is an example of, even in mis-interpretation, a possible gain. With significant maneuvering, both ways still come to the same thing. Both can convey that home-life is a bustle as compared to the leisure time in the factory, which, I’m approximating, is sort of what is being said.

(64) 工場は、七人の場所。皆で作り上げた憩いの場。廃れた場所ではある。

Translation

The factory was theirs. Their own constructed playden. An obsolete place.

(65) かつての繁栄の虚しさが色濃く残り、風化した場所である。

Translation

It was a weathered construction, strongly tinted with the residue of a past glory, now futile.

(66) だが今を生きる青少年らに、まともな楽園など与えらるはずもない。

Translation

But, the youth living now, weren’t really expecting to be gifted a kind of Paradise.

Commentary

与えらる is either a spelling error or a shortened slang form that I’m not exactly sure of.

(67) ユートピア幻想はとうに過去のものだ。崩壊し、残骸と化した。

Translation

Illusions of utopia were a thing of the past. Decaying. Changed into ruins.

(68) 瓦礫の骸に、自分たちだけの小さな、不完全な安息の地を求めるしかない。

Translation

In the shell of the wreckage, they sought for a small, imperfect, place of rest. Nothing else.

(69) それが現代という時代である。だが忍は満足していた。極限の楽園など知らない世代。

Translation

That was the state of the period called ‘the present’. But, Shinobu was content. A limited paradise for a strange age.

(70) 高度成長の末に訪れた、灰色の長き停滞。停滞の中から生まれ出た彼らは、希望を体感することなく育った。

Translation

After rapid growth had finally arrived, came a long grey stagnation. Those born in the middle of it, were brought up without the experience of aspiration.

(71) 明るい未来。結婚。出産。豊かな暮らし。幸せな家庭―――

Translation

A colorful future. Marriage. Childbirth. Living plentifully. A blessed home—

Commentary

Reminds be a bit of the start of SubaHibi’s DtRH2 monologue that Yuki makes on the train. (Take note that I have also not finished that work.)

(72) 言葉としては理解できるが、印象としては幻想神話の類である。

Translation

These words were understood. The impression they gave was of a kind of illusion, or myth.

(73) 「…」

(74) ゆえに忍にとって、工場の時間は最善のものである。

Translation

So, Shinobu regarded the time spent in the factory, as the best hours of his life.

(75) 使い古されてはいるが。天を見上げる。首の背が痛くなるほど。

Translation

Feeling worn out, he looked up at the sky. The back of his neck felt sore.

(76) 空は鮮やかさの密度を増し、目がチリチリと灼けた。

Translation

The sky grew with a dense vivacity. Within his eyes was a scattered red glow.

Commentary

A strange image but I’ll go with it. Normally when you think of density and Sky, you think clouds, but鮮やか can either be Clear, Vivid, or Brilliant. I guessed Romeo here was talking about the vivacity of colour that occurs at sunset, so I went with that.

(77) どのような時間にも、終わりは来るとわかる。

Translation

Whatever kind of time this was, he understood that the end was coming.

(78) 来て、しまう―――

Translation

It was fully, drawing closer.

(79) 「寒くはない?」

Translation

Aren’t you cold?

(80) 「平気」

Translation

Feels OK.

(81) 「上着、持ってきたわ」

Translation

Here, take this.

(82) 「それ……章二のパンサーコートだね」

Translation

That’s… Shouji’s Panther-Coat right?

Commentary

The word ‘Panther-Coat’ is clickable, and opens into a page long exposition, which, I may translate, but not now.

(83) 「パンサー?ああ、柄のこと……柄なんて。あたたかそうよ?」

Translation

Panther? Oh. You mean the pattern… It’s quite warm right?

(84) あたたかいであろう。夜遊び用なのだから。ためらわせるものは、その派手な柄にある。

Translation

It seemed quite warm, probably due to its night-life usage. But what inspired hesitation was that gaudy design.

Commentary

The first part I translated just sounds clunky. There has to be a sharper way to explain “It’s used for night, so of course it’s warm”.

(85) 「……その、いろいろと違うから……」

Translation

Still… there’s quite a lot wrong with it.

(86) 「何が?」

Translation

Like?

(87) 「キャラとか」

Translation

I’m not that kind of character.

Commentary

The terseness of the original makes the exchange sound wittier, but I don’t think it transfers well to English if I just write “The Chara”.

(88) 「?」

Translation

Eh?

(89) 小首をかしげた沙也加だが、結局強引にコートを忍の肩にひっかけた。

Translation

Sayaka tilted her head, doubtfully. In the end she forced the coat onto Shinobu’s shoulders.

(90) 「ほら、袖を通さないと」

Translation

Come on. Put your arms through the sleeve.

(91) 「いいよ、大丈夫だから」

Translation

I think, it’s okay…. Really.

(92) 強めに抵抗する。

Translation

He strongly opposed.

(93) 「困るわ」

Translation

Don’t make me worry.

Commentary

Vague subject-less conversation like this makes a variety of possible interpretations possible. I think conversation parts are significantly harder because you have to make sure everything flows better.

(94) 「いや、困るっていわれても……困るよ……」

Translation

But, even if you say that… it’s still troublesome

Commentary

They all seem to be varying different definitions of困る, so this whole part I’m vastly unsure. I don’t know whether he’s talking about his own troublesomeness, or her worry, or her troublesomeness, or what. Need more practice.

(95) 「風邪をこじらせてもらっては困るわ」

Translation

If you catch a cold, it’s also troublesome.

(96) こめられた力が強くなってきた。絶対に着せる気である。

Translation

Charged with a stronger force. Absolute unconditional will. He had to wear it.

Commentary

I find that when faced with certain nouns modified by verbs, it’s probably better to split them up. 絶対に着せる気 is “Absolute-Wearing-Will”, directly. In this case it’s better to streamline the adjective-noun and take out the verb into a separate sentence.

(97) 「ほら」

Translation

See?

(98) 「わかったよう」

Translation

I get it already…

(99) 袖があまる。裾が中途半端に膝を隠す。

Translation

The sleeves were too long. The hem hid his knees halfway.

(100) 肩幅があってない。全体的にもっさりしている。撫で肩だ。

Translation

The shoulder width was lacking. Overall, it was unfashionable. It sloped down his shoulders.

Commentary

May be better in English if the second sentence was swapped with the last, because going by Google Image-Search, 撫で肩 seems to be a bad fashion meme rather than just a description (the effect, translated over, I think, is something like “Overall it was unfashionable. The disco-pants”, so “Overall it was unfashionable. The shoulder slopes”). That connotation isn’t transferred over to English.

(101) ヒョウ柄だ。コロン臭い。コートに直接ふっているようだ。

Translation

It had leopard print. It reeked of cologne. He gave the coat a wave.

(102) 「似合うわ。忍はなんでも似合うのね」

Translation

Wow. It fits. It really fits.

(103) 「(どうしてそんなこと言えるんだろう……)」

Translation

(Why did she have to say that…)

(104) 年の割に老成した沙也加は、価値観もまた若者離れしていて、外見にはこだわらない。

Translation

The overly mature Sayaka had values totally separate from what you’d expect of her youth. She didn’t care about outward appearance.

(105) それは『どうでも良い』ということでもある。だがきっと沙也加自身は、本当に似合っていると思っているのだろう。

Translation

She normally said “anything-goes”. But, now, she probably trusted herself fully that it fitted.

(106) 世俗に染まらず育つとは、こういうことだ。

Translation

Raised without being tainted by common values. Such was her life.

(107) 「(……ダメだ……説得不可能)」

Translation

It’s no good… she’s unshakeable.

(108) してみれば忍は、沙也加よりは少し感覚が若いということになる。

Translation

In that case, Shinobu figured, you could say that she was probably trying to feel slightly more her age.

Commentary

沙也加よりは少し感覚が若いということになる took quite a while to decipher. The grammatical form being something like “Sayaka More (topic) A bit feeling (further exposition indicated by が) Young It-Could-Be-Said + ことになる”.

(109) 幸か不幸か。この苦難から脱出するには、速やかなる帰宅以外にない。

Translation

For better or worse. He had no way of escaping his suffering, except getting home fast.

(110) 「確かに…あたたかいね」

Translation

Well… it definitely feels warm.

(111) 「そうでしょう」

Translation

It is, right?

(112) 「でも」

Translation

But…

(113) 「ああ、じゃあ着て帰りなさい。章二には私から言っておくから」

Translation

Aa, then why not take it home? I’ll talk to Shouji for you.

(114) 「ちょっと待って、くださいませんか?」

Translation

Can you… pause for a second please…

(115) 声が裏返りかけた。

Translation

His voice squeaked out.

(116)「え?」

Translation

Eh?

(117) 「……着て帰るの?これを?」

Translation

Take home? This?

(118) 「そうよ」

Translation

That’s right.

(119) 「き、着て帰ったら、章二がきっと困るよう」

Translation

If… if I take this back, won’t he be worried?

(120) 沙也加は携帯を取り出す。

Translation

She took out her phone.

(121) 「もしもし、私よ。工場にあるコートを借りたいの」

Translation

Hi. It’s me. The coat at the factory… can we borrow it?

(122) 「ええ、忍が寒がっていたから」

Translation

Yep. Shinobu’s cold. That’s why.

(123) 「(さむがってない……)」

Translation

(But I’m not…)

(124) 「じゃあ借りるわね」

Translation

Then… we’ll take it.

(125) 電話をしまう。

Translation

The call ends.

(126) 「いいって言っていたわ」

Translation

He said it’s okay.

(127) 「…そう」

Translation

I see…

(128) 「今日は誰も来ないみたいね。一緒に帰りましょう」

Translation

It doesn’t seem like anyone else is coming does it? Let’s go home.

(129) 「…そうね」

Translation

I suppose…

(130) そして二人は、並んで帰った。

Translation

So, both of them walked home together.

(131) 忍の服装は市街地では極めて目立ったが、沙也加はいっこうに気にする様子もなかった。

Translation

They reached town. His attire was extremely conspicuous. Sayaka didn’t notice, at all.

(132) 別れた瞬間、即刻脱いだものだ。

Translation

The moment they parted, he took it off.

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